Why do I keep getting comments in Japanese? Do I look Japanese to you?

I’m very proud of my kids. All of them. Although they scare me at times, and sometimes they just make me laugh.

I was having a problem with my Blackberry, and not having time to go to the Verizon store and get it worked out, I switched phones with Hana. She has the same model and doesn’t need the alarm function anyway, since she usually wakes up when the setting sun comes through her window.

I finished my book at dinner tonight and looked up the order of the Lucas Davenport series written by John Sandford so I could read them in order (I’m that kind of guy) and I stumbled across some memos that Hana had put on her phone. I thought I’d share them with you.

Under the heading “On Haikus”:
I can’t write haikus
Because I’m not Japanese
Hey, wait a minute.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes the don’t make sense
Refrigerator

Under the heading “Memo to self”:
Talking to self is bad.

Oh Crap!

I would love to see her dreams sometimes. She must have some really weird ones. The nice thing is she usually writes them down. But apparently, she sometimes just jots down some notes about her dreams. I found this memo entitles “Dream 18”:
Alley. Bloody Slug. Hobo Women. Ran Off. Door open. Job Opportunity. Application. Tom Cruise. Alien. Chase (could be the verb chase or her cousin Chase). Robot. Escape through sewers. Lake. Modeling Photo shoot. Sean and Gus (from the TV show Psyche.) Join. Pass out. Airport. All my stuff is ruined. Stranded. Good Samaritan. Model boss. Fight. Missed Flight. Christmas. Puppies. Apartment. Moved. Pink. Emily. Kittens. Kate and Mike. Rotweillers. Chase. Hurt Diana. Lock Door.

Yeah, Hana. I’d lock the door too.

Ben called me a couple hours ago and said he had landed in Houston and was on his way back home. A friend of his is moving to San Francisco and asked Ben to go with him out there and he’d buy him a plane ticket home. They left last Monday morning. This is Ben. My 21 year old son who got his third learners permit three days before they left. You see, Ben’s never gotten his lisence to drive and doesn’t really like to drive. But it sounded like they had a good time. They spet the first night in Des Moine, Iowa, then spent the second night in Denver where they had dinner with my brother Phil, who Ben hadn’t seen in probably ten years. Then they were trying to get to Las Vegas to see his friends uncle but didn’t make it that day. They stopped in Cedar City, Utah, about 175 miles from Vegas. Drove on into Vegas the next morning and spent the day running around, and then on to San Francisco on Friday.

I was more scared of him making this trip than I was when he was 16 and went to Peru on a mission trip. But all went well. At least so far anyway.

Do you listen to podcasts? If so, do you listen to Radio Lab? If the answer is no to either question, I would recommend you going to the Radio lab website and getting the podcast entitled “Oops”. It’s amazing. Especially the last section about Butte, MT. Actually, I would recommend getting all of their podcasts. I personally think it’s the best one out there.

And for those of you who don’t know it, my wife is a great wife. As I told her on Sunday before I left, she’s the best wife I’ve ever had. That’s probably not as funny now that I read it since a lot of you don’t actually know that she’s the ONLY wife I’ve ever had. So excuse me while I delete this paragraph.

There. That’s better.

Here's a tip for you.

If, by chance, you are in need of that wonderful product known as "Super Glue", there are a couple of things you want to make sure of. If you open a new tube, makeabsolutely sure that the cap which holds the dispensing nozzle is firmly screwed back onto the tube. Secondly, you do not want to carry this tube in your pants pocket. Particularly if you are also carrying a pocket full of screws.

Did this happen to you, John, you may ask.

And I would reply. No comment.

The glue will leak through the fabric which makes up your pocket and, before it dries, will leak onto your boxer briefs. It will then leak through your boxer briefs onto the skin of your upper thigh.

Very powerful stuff, this super glue. In just a moment your pants will be glued to your underwear, which will be glued to your leg. This makes a quick trip to the restroom very difficult, depending of course on the position you need to assume while in the restroom.

Sounds like this happened to you, John.

I'm just saying. And the removal of this mess can be very painful. Nail polish remover is supposed to work well, but it's hard to get it into your pocket, through your pocket onto your unmentionables and then your leg without looking like you've wet yourself. I'm just saying.

And then once you get the whole thing off, you will find that you now have a hole in your pocket, drawers that aren't worth keeping, and a hickey on your thigh.

So think about these things the next time your in the hardware store and you need a tube of this "Super Glue". It may not be worth the trouble.

I'm just saying.

Life has been good for us, just busy. Preston's county of birth wanted to reduce his assistance subsidy again after failing to negotiate according to the law. So we filed for another state hearing and won that one as well. They are not keen on continuing to try to get it reduced anymore.

Ben is home from college for the summer and working at Pizza Hut. Hana is working as an aid on a bus route for developmentally disabled adults. Isaac is enjoying his summer of freedom and Josh is going to a school for Autistic kids as his extended school year program. We are thinking that by the end of the summer, if we can get everything lined up, we're gonna pull him from the public school and put him in there full time. It's just a matter of getting all our ducks in a row.

Speaking of ducks, I was driving through the western suburbs of Chicago today heading north on 59, traffic is moving well. It's a state route so there are lights every now and then, and then next thing I know, the lady who had just passed me, jumps into my lane right in front of me and hitsher brakes. Not like locked them up, you know, just slowed down really fast. I hit mine and started to get over into the lane she had just left. And then I saw them. A mother duck with about 6 chicks all in a row trying to cross this busy street. She realized her poor planning and turned her brood around and headed back to the median. When I got by her, I looked in my mirror and saw her start them bakc across. Looked like they all made it sfely.

My mower bit the dust not right before Father's day and shot my idea of buying a new grill for father's day. There's only so much money going around and I needed a new mower. So that's what I got. It's a nice push mower that starts easily.

Preston was so happy with it that he promptly took off throughout the neighborhood trying to get people to let him mow their lawns. He gets back in about two hours and he's made $30 and has two people who want him to come mow for them every week. Saturday he was out agin and made another $25 in the afternoon. The older kids are a little...peeved? He's making it look a little too easy. I've been telling them for years that they could get out there and mow lawns but they haven't done it yet. Oh well.

Other than that, life is good. Work is picking up, and Sheila is very happy that she now lives in a house with central air conditioning. I am as well. I'm also very glad that, since we rent, I don't have to pay the repairman when the air conditioner breaks down.

Life is good.

So I'm in Elkhart, IN waiting for the morning. My boss asked me to stop by Markley Enterprise in Elkhart on my way back home and pick up 300 sample cases. I'll get them back home and then we'll load them with small sample pieces of our windows and color samples and such and then we'll ship them out to our customers. But Markley closes at 3pm and there wasn't anyway I was going to get through all my Chicago stops today and then drive 150 miles to Elkhart and be there by 3. So here I sit.

I'm parked in the Den of Thieves, also known as a Turnpike Travel Plaza. Truckstops are bad enough when it comes to high prices, but I cannot for the life of me, figure out how these folks running turnpike travel plazas can justify gouging people like this. I ate at a Burger King in this one and it was over $10 for just me. That was a Whopper w/cheese, a Whopper Jr. w/cheese, fries and a large drink. At home, the whopper jr is on the dollar menu. Here it's $2.69. I think the only thing they had on the dollar menu was napkins.

As you may or may not remember, I have five kids, one of which is a foster son. This little guy is extremely autistic. He just turned 8 last month and we are still working on potty training, holding eating utensils, and not walking across the dining room table. He does not speak. We have no idea how much he will learn as the years go by, but it will only be by way of a miracle that he ever finds himself able to live independently. And he is one sweet little boy.

So his county of residence calls our agencies and asks them to ask us to meet with them to discuss our concerns about adopting Josh. There are many. We have had a few family discussions about this issue in which all the kids were included, and the consensus is that we would like to adopt him.

But...

Josh will need assistance the rest of his life and where will that come from? Sheila and I are not getting any younger. I will be 60 when Josh turns 21, and still, he will need help. If we adopted him we would receive an adoption assistance subsidy, but that would only last until he was 21. What if something happens to me or my wife in the next few years? Will the remaining spouse be able to take care of Josh and still work? As it is now, Sheila would not be able to work outside the house since he has so many appointments. Psychiatrist, Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Family doctor. If something were to happen to Sheila I know that I would have to change jobs i order to be home with the kids. But with Josh, I would need to be home much more than if it were just the other 4. And if something were to happen to both me and my wife, then my kids would feel responsible for taking care of Josh from then on. And that doesn't seem fair to foist that onto their shoulders.

We have had difficulty with our local school system. Regardless of the laws that are in place that state that a school must provide an education for the children that live within its district, our school authorities regularly tell parents, and foster parents in particular, that they have no room or facilities or teachers capable of teaching your child. Believe me, it's true. They've told us that regarding three different foster boys, and we had to fight them tooth and nail to take Josh. Now they are saying that we should probably look for another place to educate him since they feel that they are not making enough progress.

There is another school nearby that specializes in autistic children and their education, but the cost is pretty high. Right now, Josh's county of residence is financially responsible for his education. If we adopt him, then that responsibility transfers to our county. And I know good and well they are not going to pay $5000 a month for Josh to go to another school. So there would be another fight. And I imagine that one would need an attorney or two before it got straightened out.

He's a great kid and we love him and it would tear us up to see him leave. But can we provide for him the things that he will need as he gets older? I have my doubts tat he would be adopted by another family and I'm fairly certain that his county of residence would leave him with us for as long as we can keep him. And as it stands, if he has a need then the county has to pay for it. And they've got quite a bit more money than we do.

So that's where we stand right now.

In the meanwhile, I've had a couple follow-up visits with my cardiologist, plus a stress test and an ultrasound of my heart. e gave me fairly good news. He sees no indication that I might drop over dead tomorrow. I guess that's a good thing. He did want to try a different medication for the heart flutter, and he told me that I have a slight enlargement of my upper chamber and a slightly leaky valve. I told him my wife has been telling me that for years. That I have a big head and I'm always blowing wind. He clarified his thoughts. The heart, John, the heart.

But he said that was fairly normal for a guy my age, my size, and with Sleep Apnea. Lance Armstrong I am not. Besides, I'd look ridiculous in those bike shorts. I'd look like a bowling ball walking around on two sausages. So I started the new meds yesterday and we'll see how they do. So far so good. I've actually been feeling better since the episode anyway. Maybe it's cause I see spring around the corner.

Oh, and Hana was finally able to get a job. She's gonna be an aide for special needs kids on the school bus. And the nice thing is that she can ride to work with our neighbor around the corner. YEAH!!

That's it. See ya later.

We wanted a larger computer monitor to watch TV on. So why not just get a new TV and make it a computer monitor? Works for me.

Josh is not your typical couch potato. Not in the least.

Sheila likes to teach her nephew, Markie, how to protect oneself from alien mind control. Isn't she a great Aunt?

Isaac heard Vancouver was having to truck in snow for the Olympics and thought he and I might make a trip of it. Who knows, maybe we could trade snow for tickets to the Men's Figure Skating Finals.

I have, for a few years now, dealt with an issue regarding my heart. I had one heart attack back in '07, but prior to that I started experiencing some episodes of atrial fibrillation. For the most part, the episodes will resolve themselves in just a few minutes and my heart will start beating normal again. They usually aren't that bad. But twice now, I have had episodes that I thought warranted a trip to the ER. Sunday was one of them.

Sheila and I were sitting on the couch, enjoying our new "TV", (really, that's all we were doing) and I started to feel that old familiar fluttering at the base of my throat that tells me my heart's starting to beat out of sync again. As I sat there, it started to beat faster and harder. More so than I have felt in the past. So after a while I thought I might better go lay down for a bit. That didn't help at all. It just beat harder, or so it seemed. It felt like something was going to blow at any minute, so I figured I'd better get it taken care of.

So I had Sheila drive me down the street to the ER, since I didn't want to hear them fussing at me about driving myself. When I got hooked up my heart was racing at 148 beats per minute and my blood pressure was 178/124. Not good. So they hooked up an IV and started dripping stuff into me to slow the rate down, and in short order I was down around 100 bpm. But the heart wouldn't get back into rhythm. So the doc decides he's gonna keep me so they can check and make sure that there isn't any damage. The first blood draw showed no sign of a heart attack, which I was fairly sure that I had not had one, but they said that sometimes there's a lag in the enzyme production and the second draw may show evidence of one.

All this going on and I'm supposed to be leaving for my run, Monday morning at the latest. (I usually leave Sunday evening or afternoon.) On my way to the hospital I texted my boss and told him what was going on, just to give him a heads up. Right before the doc came in to say that they were keeping me, he got back to me again and said not to worry about my run, that he had covered it with another driver, and that I should concentrate on resting. I apologized for causing such a hassle and he said it wasn't any hassle at all, get some rest. I have an EXCELLENT boss.

So they kept me overnight, came in a few times in the night to draw more blood, and in the morning, all signs indicated that there had not been a heart attack. As a matter of fact, my heart was back in rhythm about 10 pm. As I said, it usually only takes a few minutes before it gets back where it should be. I'm glad I went in. That was a long time for it to be out of sync. So now I'm on one more medicine to help keep my heart rate down and I have an appointment to see the cardiologist on Friday. There will probably be some more changes.

All in all, it wasn't a very bad episode, but it was bad enough.

So we've got more snow falling today and the kids are out of school again. Sheila's new washer is supposed to show up today and she's worried that the weather is gonna keep them from showing up. For their sake, I hope they don't keep her waiting. I pity da fool that keeps her waiting on a new washer.

Our washing machine has been slowly giving up the ghost. Notice I didn't say "Sheila's washing machine"? So we've been waiting for the feds to get up off my money so we could go get a new machine. We figured with the number of people in our house, it was important to get a large capacity washer, and since the front loaders are so much more efficient as far as water usage, that's what we went for. A Samsung Front Loader with ActivFresh and Steam cleaning. They also spin faster, which throws out more water, which lets your dryer use less energy. It gets delivered Tuesday. Sheila is excited. Happy Valentines Day dear.

Actually, I'm not that dumb. I was warned 27 years ago to not buy appliances or pots and pans for Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary, or Birthday. I have tried to adhere to that advice. And so far I have never had a black eye.

Anyway, after we paid for the washer, we went looking around the store. Now, here's something you need to understand. In my house, the kids TV stuff is in the basement. Don't worry, it's a finished basement. And Sheila and I watch TV upstairs on the computer. We don't have cable and we don't get any channels over the air since we have no outside antenna so we watch shows on Hulu.com and sites like that. But all this time we've been watching TV from across the living room on a 17 inch computer monitor. It's been OK but it's a little hard for Sheila to see any sub-titles at times. So we've been talking about buying a larger monitor.

So we were looking. The "standard" now seems to be about a 21 inch screen. But I've seen them as big as 26. So we're talking to the guy and I tell him that mainly what we do is watch TV on the monitor. If it weren't for sitting across the room, we wouldn't be needing, or I should say wanting, a new one. His recommendation; buy a flat screen TV and hook that up to the computer and use that for the monitor. "Can you do that?" I ask. "Sure", he says. "It's uses the exact same cord.

So we go looking at the Flat Screens. And lo and behold, they had a 32 inch flat screen TV from Samsung on sale. About $150 off it's regular price.

So...

We now have a 32 inch computer monitor. Wow!

As a computer monitor, it's a little ridiculous. It's like sitting in the front row at the movie theater. But since it's our TV as well, it's great. And Sheila is loving it. She said last night that she was really feeling spoiled. Score more Brownie Points for John!

Work has been good lately. Same old runs. (Quit your snickering.) And we've had quite a bit of snow, not near as much as the Mid-Atlantic states have received. But so far, I've not been caught out in it. It was close last week, but thank the Lord for the Internet. I was able to see the weather coming to Chicago two days early and so I left early in order to beat it home. It's called Racing The Weather. Usually the Weather wins, but not this time. Monday night I was safe asleep in the truck at midnight in the company yard. The snow blew in behind me about 6 hours later. I left for the house about 10 Tuesday morning and stayed home with the family on Wednesday.

On a sadder note, Sheila's uncle, who lived in Maryland, passed away this week. They have received so much snow that the funeral cannot be held until the 25th of February. Sheila is definitely going to make the trip and it's possible that I may go as well. It depends on a number of things.

So that's about it. Ya'll have fun.