That's my girl

Do you have a friend that sends you those obnoxious emails where you have to fill out a bunch of information about yourself? What you like, what you would do, where you would go, and all that? I hate those things. And my daughter sends them to me. I never send them on but I do read what she sends me. She sent me this one and I laughed pretty hard. I don't think I wet myself, but could be, I haven't checked. As for her sense of humor, I see the apple has not fallen far from the tree. Enjoy.

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
No. But I have rubbed it against my chest ( with a shirt on, you pervs ). Doing that I discovered that most CD's are male.

What' s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated ?
Me and Dr. McCoy are gonna beam down for " exploratory research" . .... Just kidding! I've never dated .

Ever been in a car wreck ?
Oh my god! I killed Kenny !

Were you popular in high school?
Oh yeah. All those wall bricks had crushes on me.

Have you ever been on a blind date?
I have glasses, but I'm not that blind ....

Are looks important?
Judging by the font, I'd say the person who created this survey doesn't think so.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? ?
Let' s just say that the phrase " friends & family" applies to the same people.

By what age would you like to be married?
Preferably . . . . after I die. That way, I won' t have to stress about loosing weight for the wedding.

Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
Only if they aren't safety and hygiene conscious.

Have you ever made a mistake?
" mees- tahk- ey"? what the heck does that mean? Is it a craft ?

Are you a good tipper?
I guess so. I tip over pretty far when I'm tired .

What' s the most you have spent for a haircut?
Oh, about 8 pound s of my dignity.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Fictional teachers are hotter.

Have you ever peed in public?
Does an abandoned hiking trail count as " public"?

What song do you want played at your funeral?
" Come What May" from the moulin rouge sound track . Some people will love it, some will get pissed off, and others will just get it stuck in their head.

Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
I would on April Fools Day.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Anything and every thing that I could think of. I'd just have a smorgasbord and share with all the other . . . . . wait a minute... why am I getting executed?!

Beatles or Stones?
Bugs are gross , but some rocks are pretty.

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?
Just one? .... awwww ...

Beer, wine or hard liquor?:
Wine COOLER. Or Daiquiris.

Do you have any phobias?
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Interpret that how you please.

Do you walk around the house naked ?
Which house ? MY house ? No way, that' s just asking for dog hair in weird places.

If you were an animal what would you be?
An animal. Duh.

Hair color you like on someone you' re dating?
How about . . . .NOT pink.

Would you rather be blind or deaf?
How about I keep both those senses and give up my sense of smell .

Do you have any special talents?
I can touch my feet to my head. . . . ..as far as you know.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house ?
Drop every thing I carry on the nearest horizontal surface and sit down.

Do you like horror or comedy?
I like them both, as a set.

Are you missing anyone?
( Looks around) No, I don' t think so. They' re all here.

If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?
Wow. . . . that thought never occurred to me until now. And I'll try not to ever think of it again .

Where do you want to live when you are old?
Not here.

Who is the person you can count on the most?
The Count from Sesame street. Seriously, he just goes on forever.

If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Hitler, so I can order the most expensive meal and then leave before he gets there . Also, I would poison the wine.

What did you dream last night ?
Something about . .... a dream .

What is your favorite sport to watch ?
I like to watch good sports who don' t get pissed when you play pranks on them.

Are you named after anyone?
I'm sure there were lots of people who were named before me.

Non alcoholic drink ?
Yes, please.

Have you ever been in love?
I don' t think so. But if I ever find it, I'll be sure to write down the address.

Do you sing in the shower?
And in the car, and in my room, and in the hall, and while I'm working, and to bug my brothers.
Have you ever been arrested?
I've slept well before, but not lately.

What is your favorite holiday?
My birthday. .... Shut up! It is so a national holiday!

Would you ever get plastic surgery?
No. What' s the point in giving plastic surgery? It's inanimate, just throw it away!

Have you ever caught a fish?
Yeah, but I threw it back. I didn' t want to eat it, I just wante d to make it late for something.