Today is a good day. At least it looks as though that will be the case. Why, you ask? Well, it appears that my wife is going to the big bad Wally World. Now, normally, I would not be excited about my wife going off, checkbook in hand, with visions of winged dollar signs dancing in her head. But she and I have an agreement. She can go to Wally World and I can go to Wally World, (although I only go when I am in the big truck and then only to replenish some supplies.) But we do not go to Wally World together.
Again, I here you asking why. Be patient.
You see, at Wally World, we have two different agendas. My agenda is to walk in, find the various items on my list, and walk out. I do pay for them though. I guess I should add that little note. I do not interact with others in that store more than to bump them out of my way, or ask where the Smooth and Slick Head shaving cream is located, or knock the little kid off the demo display of Guitar Hero so I can do a wicked rendition of "Sweet Child of Mine". I get my stuff and I go.
My wife, on the other hand, goes to Wally World to take inventory. Not of what she needs, but of what they have. She walks down each aisle, counting each item, picking them up, reading the labels, checking the fat content, counting the carbs, perusing the level of niomathianicide in each and every item. The question "Is this something that I need?" is running constantly through her head and each item is held up to this justification. Many items appear to fall into that category while she is in the store, only to be discovered later to carry the label "what was I thinking?". But she keeps the receipts and some of those "what was I thinking" items end up going back to grace the shelves of the almighty conglomerate. Thank God for small favors.
So the good news is that if she is going to Wally World, I am not. What, you may ask, will I be doing all day. If the Lord is a good Lord, which I believe He is, then I will be doing very little. Nearly Nothing, if I can get away with it. That was my goal for yesterday, and it was not accomplished. Not even close. I drove 120 miles yesterday going to a water park I couldn't play at, right next to an amusement park that was closed, only to eat fast food once again. Oh too much fun.
So, if all goes according to Hoyle, I will be squatting right here, in front of this beast of electronics, searching the vastness of the world for items of interest.
Wish me luck.
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3 comments:
Your wife is a normal, healthy woman. she is shopping. doing what we women do best. It is important to check the level niomathianicide and other important stuff. She is happy that you are not there to bother her. Good luck on the doing nothing.
so how'd that work out for ya?
Kimmy, it worked out good. Spent most of the day looking for music, took a bath and then went to a party and then bed. Good Day!
Mom, she is doing what she does best, this is true. She has had many years of practice. The normal part though, maybe, maybe not. She's a good woman anyway. She puts up with me, right?
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