Family vernacular

Some notes about my trip to Texas.

One thing you need to remember is that older people in the south have a particular way of speaking. Not just the accent, but their phrases and words. Sometimes it was so entertaining sitting their listening to my family talk that I just had to start writing things down.

Grandmother Jo asks everyone if they want some Key lime Pie right away since we’ve just finished a large supper. Grandpa says yeah but everyone else says they can wait. She dotes on him quite a bit and so not wanting him to feel slighted, she asks him, “So, should I cut the pie?” His response: “What does yeah mean to you?” Sounds sort of ugly as I write that but you have to understand, he’s a big kidder and would never say anything to hurt her feelings.

Uncle Terry in reference to a particularly stingy individual; “He’s tighter than Dick’s hatband.”

Granddad and Uncle Terry both were reminiscing on their version of the snipe hunt. Seems they would get one of their young friends out in the woods when they needed to dig worms and they would promise to teach him how to “call out the worms”. They would find a young sapling tree and tell him to stand around the tree calling for the worms. When no worms would come up Terry would cut the tree down and taking a saw blade, saw back and forth across the top of the fresh cut stump. This would send vibrations into the earth and the worms would start coming to the top. They would encourage their friend to yell louder as Terry cut faster and more worms would surface. What a sight it must have been to see this young boy dancing and hollering in the woods trying to get the worms to surface.

I actually heard one of Uncle Lloyds sayings in a movie recently, “No Country for Old Men” with Tommy Lee Jones. Based in Texas no less. “That’s some kind of mess, ain’t it?” “If it ain’t it’ll do til the mess gets here.”

Terry also told of his experience with dating a young girl from the country club. She took him out one night with all her high-falooting friends and she was not real impressed with his attire. Since it was obvious to her that he hadn’t spent much money on clothes she asked him where his parents worked. His response was “My dad’s a custodian at the slaughterhouse and mom wrestles on the weekend at Northside Coliseum.” First and last date.

I was visiting Uncle Lloyd and he rode with me and my mother out to the old Wilkins place, which is no longer occupied, just to look around and see the house my dad grew up in. We had caught him coming out of the field on his place as we pulled up and so he had his work gloves in his hand as he got in my rental car for the drive over. Later that evening I noticed his gloves laying on the floor of the car so I gave him a call.

“Uncle Lloyd, this is John.”

“Hey, boy. (He still calls me that) Ya have a good day?”

“Yes sir. It was a fine one”

“Good. Glad to hear it. What can I do for you?”

"Uncle Lloyd, I just noticed a bit ago that you left your work gloves in my car when we were out there. Terri (his daughter, with whom I was staying at the time) says you’re coming into town tomorrow. If you want, I can meet up with you and give them to you then.”

“That’d be fine. I’ve got to go to Peacock’s and get some cakes. I can meet you there”

“What kind of cakes you getting? Are they for the wedding?”

At this I hear a snort of laughter. “I suppose they could be if’n anybody wanted to eat them.” My silence indicates to him that I’m not understanding his train of thought. “Feed cakes, boy. For the stock.”

“I see. Alright. Well then give me a call when you get to town.”

”Ok, boy. If I don’t see you then you can just bring them with you Saturday when you come to the wedding.”

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Make sure you don’t forget those work gloves, boy. I’ll probably need them Saturday night.”
At this I broke out laughing and I will NOT share with you the mental picture that flash through my mind at that moment. I could hear my 84-year-old uncle on the other end of the phone grinning as he said, “What? She might have some mopping up for me to do.”

"Sure, Uncle Lloyd. See you Saturday.”