Didn't happen

Life has been way too busy and I've been still dealing with the creeping crud. three weeks now. Guess I should maybe, if I get a chance, think about getting to the doctor to see if there might be something there. Oh well, maybe I'll think about calling tomorrow.

The three year old...didn't happen. Then we got a call for siblings, 4 and 2, then that didn't happen. they found relatives for them. Then we get another call for a different 4 year old. We said yes to all these kids and they sent them somewhere else. Four kids in two weeks. We stiull have the same ones that we've had. Life goes on.

Started working on my taxes yesterday but I remembered I haven't received the paperwork from my investment adviser regarding my properties in Texas, California, Alaska, or Madagascar. He sent me the ones for my properties in DC, Canada, Mexico, and Venezuela, but he said the others were waiting on some permits to be refiled. Anyway, the taxes have to wait.

I was coming home last night, short run, three stops, and thought about trying to get all the way home. Would have been out of hours by the time I got here and I was tired anyway so I stopped in Mt Comfort, IN at the Pilot. Woke up to snow on the ground this morning. Crap. It wasn't much but you still gotta watch it. Lots of wrecks from people just plain going too fast for the conditions. Had one happen right in front of me. Here comes this 69 Camaro flying down the highway, followed closely by a hopped up 49 Merc. They both must have been doing 80 and they blew by me like I was standing still. The Camaro comes back over to my lane and loses it. Round and round she goes. Snow and slush flying everywhere. I can see the Merc trying to slow it down, brakes flashing, she's trying. Can't do it. The Camaro's sliding sideways now and the Merc smacks her in the side on the drivers door.

"John, you keep saying 'her'".

Yeah, I know. two ladies driving.

"How do you know?"

I'm getting to that.

I slow down and straddle the center line, flashers going to slow down the traffic behind me and give them a chance to get their cars off the road. The both get to the shoulder and I pull up behind them to see if everyone's ok. As I'm walking up to them both their doors fly open and these two ladies bail out fo the cars like they're on fire. I stop dead in my tracks. Both these ladies look like they're in their 70's or 80's. Granny dresses, little white hats, white gloves. Looked like I was looking at Miss daisy's sisters. They were some pissed.

"Can't you drive worth a damn," I heard one of them yell and the fists started wailing. "Camaro" had started in on "Merc" and was giving her a beating about the head and shoulders. Merc it seemed, was going more for the body.

"I'm not the one who lost it in the middle of the road," Merc yelled.


"Why didn't you go around me?" Camaro screamed.

"I had no room," Merc screamed back. "You were taking up the whole road, ya hog. Why didn't you put it in the ditch if you can't drive it straight on the blacktop?"

And then the cursing and name calling commenced. I tried to step in between them and break it up since traffic was backing up due to the roadside drama. About that time Merc came at Camaro with a roundhouse just as I stepped between them. Caught me right in the eye. I said forget it. You ladies settle this between yourselves. And they did. They rolled around in the snow, pantaloons flashing as they kicked and clawed at each other.

Turns out they were from the Richmond, IN Ladies Car Club, President and Vice President respectively as a matter of fact, and they had been up all night piddling with their cars in Camaros' garage. Figured they would take them out for a run and see how the new turbo chargers were working. It appears they were working fine.

The cops showed up pretty quick and separated the two. Seemed to know them by first names. I heard one police officer say that if he had to pull Merc over again he would call her Dad and talk to him. Her dad? She looked to 75 or 80. Her dad had to be pushing 100. What's he gonna do? They finally got things settled down, the two ladies ticketed, and since the cars were still drivable, let them go on their way. The police thanked me for trying to help but said that in the future I should leave the battles to them. I agreed. I asked the officer about "Calling her dad". What could he do?

"Miss Elsie's (the camaro driver) father will take the car away from her."

"She's got to be in her 70's. He's got no control over her anymore," I said.

"She's 81 and no. He's got no control over her but the car belongs to him."

"Your kidding me."

"Nope," he said. He's the best race mechanic around and still builds those cars from the ground up. Miss Elsie can't build them but she sure can drive them. He wants her to stick around the house and help him out since his wife passed about 15 years ago. So he told her he would keep her in any car she wanted if she would help out around the house. The only stipulation is that he won't sign the cars over to her. They still belong to him."

"How old is he?" I asked.

"Turned 100 last year," said the officer.

"That's amazing," I said.

"Yep," he said. "Amazing. My daughter won't help at home at all." And he walked away.

I think we had a little different frame of reference here.