Fear

I have never been robbed or assaulted, although I have received letters from the IRS. I have never had a gun pointed at me, or been burglarized, and sitting here now I cannot think of an instance where I was truly in fear for my life.

Except for Wednesday morning.

I had my back haul loaded, got it early even, and headed through Chicago. The weather reports were calling for high winds with blowing snow but not much in the form of accumulation. the snow hit just as I was getting loaded and the drive down from Woodstock to the interstate towards Chicago and south was down to 40mph as opposed to the posted 55. But still, it wasn't that bad. Usually in bad weather my rule is to keep moving if I can and slow down to a safe speed and then usually a little slower. I have never been one of those guys blowing rooster tails on a snow covered road. Through Chicago was slow mostly due to the amount of traffic. Lots of folks out there at that time of night and everybody going pretty slow.

I got to Gary, IN and stopped for fuel. Bitter, bitter, bone chilling cold due to the wind. Passenger's side wiper fluid frozen. One guy on the radio asking for help cause his doors are frozen shut and he can't get out of his truck. Just a miserable night. But traffic is still moving.

I get my fuel, run about 4 miles over to 65 and head south towards Indianapolis. Up until now the wind has been hitting me in the rear. Now I am catching it full on the side, 40 to 50 mph winds, and life is no fun at all. I'm running about 30-35 mph and staying in the right lane because ALL traffic is passing me. Three separate times I felt my wheels break loose on the road and my trailer begin to come around to the left. I had changed nothing, no more pressure on the throttle, no steering change, nothing. The wheels just hit a sheet of ice and lost their traction. The third time was the straw-breaker. It's a slight incline to an overpass, the road curves slightly to the left as it heads over the bridge and it slants to the left as well. Right at the top my wheels broke loose again, the trailer starts coming around and I felt as helpless as I have ever felt in my life. At that moment I remember feeling as if I were going for a ride and that I had absolutely no control over that truck at all. I kept the wheels straight, feathered the throttle trying to get traction back, called out to God, and held on for the ride. I really felt as if I were going over. But a few moments later I was on the other side of the bridge, still upright and moving, and on the road, although I was nearly on the left hand shoulder by this time.

Do you ever stop and think how fast your mind moves?

In an instant I thought about how bad that could have been, how fast I was now going (15mph), what traffic was behind me, what the next exit number was, and that I was done for the night. If the shoulder had been wider I would have stopped right where I was. I'm 4 miles from exit 240 which has two truck stops that I know of. I approach the exit and see that I had forgotten about the weigh station about a half mile before the exit. I crawled into the weigh station, which was already full, pulled up crossways behind other trucks in their spaces, trying to stay out of the way of other trucks coming in, set the brakes, and called the broker.

"Hi sir, this is John. I've got your load from Woodstock to Dayton and Columbus."

"Hi, how are you doing?"

"I've had better nights. Listen, I just wanted to call you and tell you that your load is going to be late. "

"Do you know how late?"

"Nope, I'll call you when I wake up and let you know then, but I am done for the night."

"That bad out there, eh?"

"Yes, sir. It's that bad."

"Ok. Get some rest and call me when you're on your way again. Be safe."

That's the kind of broker I can deal with. He could have pushed me to keep going but as he said himself, "It's easy for me to push you on when I'm sitting here safe and sound in my nice warm house."

My appointment in Dayton was for 7am. They received their Sports Illustrated magazines, all 52,000 copies, safe and sound at noon. Had I kept going they probably would never have received them at all.

But some did keep going. When I got back on the road 6 hours later, I counted 7 trucks, within the first 20 miles, that didn't make it. All but one looked as if there should not have been any injuries as a result of leaving the road but one never knows. One truck laid over on the driver's side. I hope that driver's ok.

Sometimes fear can be a good thing. It got me off the road when I needed to. And yes, I bring extra underwear.